So Crazy It Just Might Work...

Mechanical Spider: The Beginning

2009-01-28T14:26:00.003-05:00

I've been planning on making a mechanical spider for some time, and yesterday I finally figured out the last major mechanism required to make it work.

Now that I have finished the design, I move on to construction. So I have a new project: large mechanical spider.

Polyphasic Sleep: Oversleeping and Crazy Vivid Dreams

2009-01-10T08:43:00.003-05:00

The whole idea beind polyphasic sleep is that, by training your body to go quickly into REM sleep, you can get needed rest in dramatically less time then usual. Incidentally, this critical REM phase is that associated with dreams, and many polyphasic sleepers report more vibrant and easily recalled dreams.

Somehow, I managed to sleep around a normal 8 hour night last night, and in my more accessible REM state, my subconcious managed to come up with quite a few odd themes. At one point, I was successful in capturing a mouse then eating it whole; at another, I drove a convertible filled with blood to the grand canyon and pushed my nonexistant wife to her doom while she threatened me with a wooden handgun; all this before the trip to my uncle's nonexistant isolated contemporary cabin in the countryside where apes mocked us from outside while my sisters and I prepared more green beans than we could possibly eat.

Lesson: your brain comes up with some crazy stuff while running on empty.

Penny Farthing: Update 1

2009-01-08T18:11:00.001-05:00

Despite a spoke fiasco, I have managed to make some nominal progress.

Due to slight overtensioning , the wheel has tacoed (taken on a taco or Pringle shaped curve), which has inhibited my work somewhat. The spokes have yet to be replaced as well.

I estimate completion in the next few days.

Polyphasic Sleep: Discussions with my Body

2009-01-05T07:57:00.000-05:00

When you deprive yourself of sleep, your body begins to devise clever yet desperate ways to get you in bed, kinda like socially awkward college males (zing!). It also becomes rather irate.

Body: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.

Me: Getting out of bed like I should have done 6 minutes ago.

Body: SHIT IT IS REALLY COLD YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LIE DOWN AND COVER UP IT IS COLD.

Me: It's not that cold, you were just out in the other night in a t shirt and it couldn't have been above 35 degrees.

Body: I'M SORRY I THOUGHT YOU SAID SOMETHING BUT ALL I HEAR IS BITCH BITCH BITCH.

Me: Hey, I'm not the one complaining about the cold.

Body: THAT IS NOT THE POIN- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NOW?

Me: Getting some orange juice.

Body: FUCK DON'T OPEN THE REFRIGERATOR WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? GO TO THE BED AND COVER UP YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO LIE DOWN.

Me: Nothing doing body, I am wise to your tricks. Have a jacket.

Body: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?

Me: It's like a portable blanket, all the warmth of being in bed without the being in bed.

Body: THAT IS THE WORST IDEA. BESIDES, DON'T YOU FEEL THAT? DON'T YOU FEEL HEAVY? DAMN, YOU BETTER GO SIT DOWN ON THE COUCH, MAYBE STRETCH OUT A BIT AND CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A SECOND OR TWO...

Me: Nah, I'll just walk around a bit; see? The heaviness is gone.

Body: GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Polyphasic Sleep

2009-01-04T22:12:00.000-05:00

Polyphasic sleep involves sleeping for several short periods rather than one long period. It is possible to eradicate non-REM sleep, allowing you to function, even thrive, on as little as 2 hours of sleep a day. The flavor I will be attempting requires I sleep for 30 minutes every 6 hours.

With diligence and a little luck, I should be able to avoid collapsing into a sleep deprived husk.

Penny Farthing

2009-01-02T23:58:00.000-05:00

Penny farthings, properly known as "Ordinaries" or "High ordinaries" were the model of bicycle present at the turn of the 20th century, notable for their large direct-drive front wheel and small rear wheel. The reasoning was that, with a larger wheel, each rotation of the pedals produced more forward movement. Drive wheels were then made as large as possible, as large a radius as the rider's legs would allow(usually between 4 and 5 feet). Once the chain and sprocket design became mainstream such wheels were obsolete, and the design was abandoned.

There is much to be said for the aesthetic of these devices, though. They bring to mind the period of high culture and industry in which they were conceived. It is because of this aesthetic that I am determined to create one for myself.

The plan is such: I will acquire a bicycle, I will bend the frame to my will, I will combine the wheel rims to double the diameter, and I will extend the forks to reach the wheel hub. It will be glorious.

A Brief Introduction

2008-12-29T02:51:00.000-05:00

Being a young, intelligent male entering the prime of his life, I decided it was high time to work on my many eccentric, far-fetched, and harebrained schemes.

Being a young, intelligent male who has spent several years online, I decided it was high time to start a blog. This is the logical combination of those two decisions.